Hatred is a strong word, but I’ve been feeling too much of it lately.
Mostly it boils down to my current living arrangements. You know that my current housemates are moving out, and I was beyond happy about it. It’s been hard work to live with four people in a three-bed room apartment, and harder still to live with a couple.
However, now war seems to have broken out.
I’ve said one of my values is love – and I’m having trouble remaining loving towards them (the couple) or the situation. The problem
is money, of course. I can handle people eating my food, using my shower wash/bathroom supplies, stealing my kitchen items – but try and fuck me over with money and a tsunami of rage destroys every pretence of civility.
I’ve always thought of myself as a generous person, but I like to decide when to give. I don’t know how to simply ‘turn the other cheek’ – I want justice to prevail. But I also don’t want to be this angry, vengeful person.
There’s a lesson and blessing in everything. So I’m going to focus on the fact that I’ve had cheap rent and a nice place to live for the last two years. I’m going to appreciate that money is just energy, and I welcome new energy into my life to replace the old. I’m going to forgive my flatmates and acknowledge even if I don’t like what they’ve done, or condone their actions: they are human beings and deserve love and goodness. I’m going to pray for abundance for them and for myself.
PS - I'm not going to try- I'm going to do it :)
Penelope Jane Jones.